One of the boundaries I reach, time and again, is the limit of my reasoning abilities. From afar, it's not too visible, but I feel it very clearly whenever I approach it. There is a quite wide border zone in front of it (what is beyond it, I do not know) where a kind of field that slows down thinking increasingly affects me. I become stupider there, to put it bluntly, and eventually completely senseless. I do not reach the very boundary too often, but also not very rarely. More often than I would like and than I was long willing to admit to myself. I do not feel liberated or light at this boundary, nor anything of the sort. On the contrary, I am there sluggish and helpless. When I do not look directly at this boundary, I succumb to the illusion that it's not so bad, that I can still take a few steps. But I can't. I cannot take a step. Entry is forbidden.

I also long deluded myself, Nation, that this is a temporary boundary, like many others, that it is within my power to gradually move it, to negotiate its contours. But I have rid myself of all these illusions. I rid myself of them, sometimes painfully. It was sad, at times. I put on a brave face and so on, but knowing well what is what.

That's how it looks, Nation.